Not proper and prim
No, women have passions the same as men."
- City of Dreams, music by Joe Zellnik, words by David Zellnik
"How can you tell if someone's gay?" asked my mother.
"Gaydar," I confidently announced.
"What's that?" she asked.
"It's that pink sixth sense."
Or is it? Queer people rely on stereotypes for clues just as much as the straight crowd; we're just tuned into those clues more because we've lived many of them ourselves, or at least slept with someone who exibited all the telltale signs of homosexuality.
In the movie In & Out, Kevin Kline plays Howard Brackett, a high school teacher who's outed by a former student in an Oscar acceptence speech. The day after, Kline's students try and figure out why anyone would think such a thing. The reasons they come up with are: He's well-dressed, neat, considerate, kind, rides a bike, has been engaged for three years, and teaches Shakespeare and poetry. We also find out that he's a huge Barbra Streisand fan. Well! He's obviously a Friend of Dorothy - no straight man would dare be well-dressed or kind!
Gay men are easy to stereotype; the image of a neatnik, de-sexualized priss is a stock character in popular culture. Women are harder to pigeon-hole if they're outside of the diesel-dyke archetype. People assume lesbians are either androgynous or porn stars with three-inch heels and three-inch fingernails. Think again.
"Women in comfortable shoes," as we're refered to... How do you know if she's on this side of Sappho? A basic primer, sure to offend and exclude the masses, but hopefully able to provide a laugh and a clue to the rest.
